Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Sue Scheff; Teaching Your Teen to Drive Safely




OK. You've probably been driving for 25+ years. You can do a great job tutoring your child as she learns to get the feel of the car...how to navigate through traffic, etc. But many parents aren't up to date on the Graduated Driver Licensing laws that affect both teens and parents. Further, the risk factors that lead to crashes are manageable -- if you know what they are, and how to avoid them. These articles will help you get a head start in teaching your teenager how to drive.



Further, there are six major challenges new drivers must face. Not only do they need to understand what they are...they need to practice each one. Perhaps the only advanced collision avoidance program that addresses each of these is the teenSMART training program. It's a complete package of DVD, CD's and workbooks that parents and teens study together -- including spending substantial hours behind the wheel to put theory into practice. It can save up to $1000 in insurance premiums with select insurance carriers over the teen's driving history. But more important, it can reduce the likelihood of a crash by 30 to 70 percent! You can find more about teenSMART® here.


Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - eNotes Parent and Teen Help on Study Skills


One of the best things about being an active parent advocate is when other parents email me different parenting websites, links, articles, Blogs and more that they would like me to share with others. Just yesterday I was forwarded this website that can help you better educate your child.


Check out http://www.enotes.com/ and see how they can assist you!


The students can get free homework help in the Q and A area from real teachers, and the literature resources are great for getting in-depth help.


What is eNotes.com?


eNotes.com is a comprehensive online educational resource. Used daily by thousands of students, teachers, professors, and researchers, eNotes combines the highest-quality educational content with innovative services in order to provide an online learning environment unlike any other.


Our Content


Our content is all fact-checked, edited, and written by professionals who are experts in their field. It comes from our in-house publishing unit or from Academic Publishers, including content which is not available online anywhere else.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Sue Scheff: Parent Communication with Teens


I hear all the time how parents can’t talk to their teens, or should we say, can’t get our teens to listen. In many situations it is how we as parents approach our teens. It seems like a game, but the end result is worth it. Opening up the lines of communication can be critical in today’s teen generation. Here is a great tip list from Shoulder to Shoulder.
Source: Shoulder to Shoulder


When talking with teens, keep the following in mind:


IT’S ALL ABOUT THE APPROACH.


Don’t blast teens with “20 questions” when they first walk in the door. Catch them when they are genuinely ready to talk. However, you may have to create that moment by going out for ice cream, taking a bike ride or working on a project together.


If you’re upset with your teen, you can’t solve a problem effectively. Give yourself some time to cool down before addressing the issue.


Keep the situation in perspective. It’s normal for teens to push the boundaries. Let them experience how to question what they see, and to develop skills in reasoning with you. That way, they will learn to think for themselves to deal with peer pressure and other teen issues.


ARE YOU READY TO TALK?


Avoid telling teens “this is how it’s going to be.” Be respectful by asking for their perspective of the situation - and really listen to them. Try to find a solution together.


Pose your questions as open-ended questions instead of yes-no questions.


Don’t accept “I don’t know” as a response. Instead try, “Tell me how you see it.”


Tell a joke or humorous story to relieve a tense situation, but don’t make fun of teens. Their self-esteem can be fragile.


Don’t solve problems for them. Our teens will not be living with us forever. To let them grow, we should look for opportunities for them to make their own decisions.


Get right to the point and be clear about your concerns. Explain why you feel the way you do, and then describe what you want or need in the future. Be ready to listen to what your teen needs, too.


If you already know the answer, don’t ask the question. For example, if you clearly disapprove of your teen’s outfit, don’t ask, “What are you wearing?!” Instead, you might try, “I’m concerned about that outfit. It’s revealing and I don’t want others to get the wrong idea about you. Please choose something else.”


Teens know they can wear down most adults with sheer repetition and persistence. When a discussion has reached the “wheel spinning” point, end it. To continue is to ask for trouble, as frustration may cause things to be said that we’ll regret.


Listen up. If teens see us as adults that will not listen to them, they will stop talking to us. Force yourself to listen. If necessary, count to 100 before responding and avoid giving unwanted advice or lecturing.


Tell them often how much you love them.


PRINTABLE VERSION FOR DOWNLOAD


You’ll need Adobe Acrobat Reader to view the following PDF version of this section. If you don’t already have the program, you can download it for free here.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Sue Scheff - Teen Study Skills


CRAMSTER.com has been helping parents with their children that are struggling with completing homework or needs help understanding and learning study skills. Take a moment to review their free offer that can help you help your teen.



Cramster.com is a free and effective alternative to tutoring. With experts and knowledgeable community members available 24/7, we leverage the popularity of online social networks to boost your child’s understanding and grades. And don’t forget, you can brush up on your own knowledge anonymously as well. Sign up today.


HERE’S WHAT YOU GET (It takes less than 30 seconds to register for free )


Step-by-step textbook solutions


Sometimes answers in the back of the book just aren’t enough. Read our step-by-step solutions to actually understand how to solve the problems. And, unlike a solution manual, if you don’t understand the demonstrated steps, you can ask our community for clarification.
Expert help at any time, day or night.


Ask or answer questions on the Cramster Q&A Board to understand difficult problems and stop getting stuck at the same place. The Q&A Board is moderated by experts and, unlike teachers, you can ask them questions at night, too.


Proven results


Our exit surveys continually prove the worth of Cramster.com’s resources. 91 percent of members said Cramster helped them keep the grade they desired, while 60 percent said using Cramster improved their grade above what they had expected.


A safe, confidence-building online experience


With the ability to remain anonymous, students no longer have to worry about asking “dumb” questions or seeking too much help. As a parent, you can learn anonymously and at your own pace as well. Additionally, our team of moderators works around the clock to ensure the safety of all members. As a McAfee and VeriSign secured site, your child’s personal information is

completely safe with us.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Sue Scheff - Inauguation Day 2009 - Parenting Teens and Politics


What an exciting week we have ahead of us! It is amazing how today’s youths are getting involved in politics and taking the initiative to learn all they can. This is not only a historical time for our country, there is a feeling of unity among all people of all ages. This can also a great time to spend with your kids and explain the importance of this upcoming week. How do you feel? Do your kids truly understand the history of this moment? This is a perfect opportunity to have family time and excitement as well as creating lasting memories.

Below is an article Connect with Kids posted back in June outlining how teens really took part in this past election. Again, an exciting time in history!

Source: Connect with Kids

“When parents talk about politics with their kids, when they participate themselves — this leads to a higher level of interest in politics among their children,”

– Dr. Alan Abramowitz, Political Science Professor, Emory University

Nineteen-year-old Will Kelly is pounding the pavement, knocking on doors and talking to voters.

Seventeen-year-old Amelia Hartley is answering phones, making copies and filing news clips.

She is a die-hard Democrat, and he is a faithful Republican. Both teenagers have a passion for politics and for getting involved.

“To be honest,” Will says of his volunteer work, “because I care about what’s going on and it troubles me to see how so many people become apathetic with what they do have in this country – that we take so much for granted.”

“At 17, I can’t vote yet, I don’t pay taxes, but within a year I’m going to have to know enough about leaders – not only national, but local and state – to be able to say who I want running things,” says Amelia of her involvement.

According to the Center for Information and Research on Civic Learning and Engagement, young voters are turning up in record numbers this presidential election.

One reason, experts say, their parents.

“There has been quite a bit of research that shows that when parents talk about politics with their kids, when they participate themselves, when they take their kids to vote with them, that all this leads to a higher level of interest in politics among the children,” says Dr. Alan Abramowitz, a political science professor at Emory University.

It is a level of interest, Dr. Abramowitz adds, that persists over time. “Even many years later, those who were raised in families that were politically active and where the parents talked about politics remain more active themselves.”

Amelia and Will say they’ve been invigorated by the hard work of politics. And, in fact, it’s sparked an interest.

“Is there a future in politics for me?” Will ponders. “Well that’s a question I seem to ask myself a lot. We’ll have to see.”

“There are a lot of career paths I’m considering,” says Amelia, “and politics is definitely one of them.”


Tips for Parents
The polls are showing teens are lining up in record numbers to have their say in this year’s election. Consider these statistics from a recent poll by Time Magazine, among 18-29 year olds:

70% said they are paying attention to the race
53% said Barack Obama was the candidate best described as ‘inspirational’
83% said this election will have a great impact on the country
A majority (54%) say the US was wrong to go to war in Iraq
80% of young people rate the economic conditions in this country as only fair or poor
Nearly three-quarters of the respondents said they feel the country is headed down the wrong track
Affordable health care (62%), the Iraq War (59%), and being able to find a stable, good paying job (58%) are the top issues a majority of young people worry about the most.
More than 6.5 million young people under the age of 30 participated in the 2008 primaries and caucuses. In fact, Obama’s margin of victory in Iowa came almost entirely from voters under 25 years old. In New Hampshire, his edge among young voters was 3 to 1; in Nevada, it was 2 to 1; and in Michigan, nearly 50,000 under-30s voted “Uncommitted” because Clinton’s name was the only one on the ballot.

The Center for Information and Research on Civic Learning and Engagement, getting kids involved in a civics or government class is a great way to get them more interested in the elections. From the 2006 Civic and Political Health of the Nation Report, young people who report that they recently choose to take a civics or government class are more likely than other young people to say that:

they helped solve a community problem,
they can make a difference in their community,
they have volunteered recently,
they trust other people and the government,
they have made consumer decisions for ethical or political reasons,
they believe in the importance of voting, and
they are registered to vote.
Parents are also one of the greatest influences on young voters.

Start with the basics. Make sure your 18-year-old knows when and where to vote.
Getting your 18-year-old to the polls could pay big dividends. People who have been motivated to vote once are more likely to become repeat voters.
Acquire and fill out voter registration forms with your teen. If your teen meets age requirements, you should each fill out a voter registration form.
If your teen meets age requirements on Election Day, go to your polling place together to cast your ballots.
If your teen doesn’t meet age requirements for the 2008 election, but will turn 18 before the 2012 election, involve them in the current election as preparation for the next election.
Consider taking teens between 14 and 17 to the polling place with you. Even if they are not permitted inside for security reasons, the visit will demystify the voting process.
Remind your child that the November election is the result of many local primaries and that Americans are able to vote for their national, state and local leaders.
Kids who are not old enough to vote can still have an impact on elections. Encourage kids to get involved in the political process. They can go door-to-door in support of candidates or help with fundraising efforts.
It can seem daunting to research candidates, because information on the different races is not centralized in one place. Parents can share news articles with their kids. The key is to engage students with issues they will find relevant to their lives.

References
Time Magazine
The Center for Information and Research on Civic Learning and Engagement

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Holiday Ideas for Parents


As a Parent Advocate I am always looking for great parenting ideas, thoughts and articles. Now Education.com has given parents terrific gifts that can enhance your child's learning growth no matter what age they are! Check it out!
Need gift ideas? We have you covered!

We found the best toys, games, and books for each grade that will build your child's brain, as well as being chock-full of fun. We've also factored in the economy, with most gifts falling in the $20-$40 range, so you can shop smart. This list of loot is kid-tested, teacher approved, and easy on your pocket book. So check out our 2008 Gift Guide.



All these items and more are also available at our online store.




Happy Wrapping!


The Education.com Team

Friday, November 14, 2008


Sue Scheff talks with Talk Show Radio Host, Kim Iverson about her new book, Wit's End! and her experiences with her own teen as well as helping to educate parents on today's teens.


Wit's Ends details her experiences with Carolina Springs Academy and WWASPS - take a moment to review http://www.aparentstruestory.com/ - and learn more. Especially if you are considering residential therapy.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Sue Scheff: These Mom Knows Best


These Moms Know Best is a website that combines parenting with great insight and ideas for moms!


As a parent, do you and your teenager have challenging mornings on school days? Are you wondering what you can do to help make your school mornings less stressful? Here are 6 tips to help you and your teenager experience a stress free school morning.


Monday, October 27, 2008

Sue Scheff: Keeping Teens from Cheating


“You see it everywhere, you see it on the websites, all of these paper mills - places where you can buy papers, [there are] a variety of ways you can cheat, huge variety of ways. [And many teens think] ‘Well, if it’s so widespread, how could it be so wrong?’”

– Hal Thorsrud, Ph.D, assistant professor of philosophy, Agnes Scott College

“Hi YouTube, it’s me Kiki,” says a young teenage girl staring into her web camera. “Today I’m going to show you guys how to cheat on a test … the effective way.”

This video on YouTube, that had over 100,000 hits in the first week after it was posted, is a tutorial for cheating.

“I know it’s not a good thing to cheat,” Kiki continues, “it’s like academic dishonesty blah, blah, blah … but you know, everyone, I think everyone has at least done it once.”

Kids know cheating is wrong, but still they do it. Why?

“Sometimes the teacher doesn’t give us enough time on our work and we run out of time,” says one girl, “and we have no where else to go.”

“Students do it because they, like, don’t really care and they just want to get it done,” says another girl, “so they can go play and stuff.”

17-year-old Pat Foster says he cheated on a class assignment. “It was almost like second nature,” he says. “Not that I do it all the time, but you got to get it done. You don’t want to get a bad grade, you’re missing a couple of answers - here, scribble it down real quick.”

The problem was his teacher saw the whole thing.

“She looked down at my papers and asked me what I was doing. I looked up - I mean, I knew I was caught.”

He got detention, a one-day suspension and a zero on the assignment.

Did he learn a valuable lesson?

“You kind of learn to work the system,” Pat says. “Basically, by the time you’re a sophomore or junior you know the system and how to get around it. I mean, I know - I do try and do my homework. But if I’m going to cheat – quote-unquote cheat - I’ll do that before I get into class, instead of sitting right there in class where it’s very noticeable.”

Experts say parents need to teach their children that grades are simply one measure of learning – and that a good grade means nothing if you cheated.

“You’re ignoring that fact that you’re not really achieving anything,” says Hal Thorsrud, an assistant professor of philosophy. “It’s not an achievement to get a paper off of an Internet website. So, the best, I suppose the best way to confront the plagiarism problem in the long run is to really focus on the value of education. Just remove the desire to cheat, because you’re not going to remove the means.”

12-year-old Jessica Maledy says her parents have taught her the difference. “I think that you cheat yourself and you cheat everyone else when you cheat,” she says. “You’re using someone else’s credit, so you cheat both that person and yourself - cause it’s not your own work.”

Back in her bedroom, looking into her webcam, Kiki acknowledges that what she’s posting online is probably wrong and may get her in some trouble, “Hopefully my teachers do not see this video, cause that would be very awkward.”

Tips for Parents

A recent edition of the “Report Card on the Ethics of American Youth,” a comprehensive national survey on the ethics of young people administered by The Josephson Institute of Ethics showed the following concerning high school students:

Nearly two-thirds (71 percent) admit they cheated on an exam at least once in the past 12 months (45 percent said they did so two or more times)
Almost all (92 percent) lied to their parents in the past 12 months (79 percent said they did so two or more times)
Over two-thirds (78 percent) lied to a teacher (58 percent two or more times)
Over one-quarter (27 percent) said they would lie to get a job
Forty percent of males and 30 percent of females say they stole something from a store in the past 12 months
These statistics seem to be indicative of a drift away from the morals and values that parents traditionally associate with society in the United States. In the press release accompanying the preliminary result of the survey, Michael Josephson, founder and president of the Josephson Institute of Ethics and CHARACTER COUNTS!, called on politicians to recognize the vital importance of dealing with “shocking levels of moral illiteracy” as part of any educational reform package. Saying the survey data reveals “a hole in the moral ozone,” Josephson added: “Being sure children can read is certainly essential, but it is no less important that we deal with the alarming rate of cheating, lying and violence that threatens the very fabric of our society.”

When discussing issues of morality and values, how can a parent illustrate what it means to be a person of character? The Center for the 4th and 5th R’s provides the following examples of characteristics of an individual with a positive character. For example, a person of character …
Is trustworthy:

Honesty – Tell the truth. Be sincere. Don’t deceive, mislead or be devious or tricky. Don’t betray a trust. Don’t withhold important information in relationships of trust. Don’t steal. Don’t cheat.
Integrity – Stand up for your beliefs about right and wrong. Be your best self. Resist social pressures to do things you think are wrong. Walk your talk. Show commitment, courage and self-discipline.
Promise-keeping – Keep your word. Honor your commitments. Pay your debts. Return what you borrow.
Loyalty – Stand by, support, and protect your family, friends, employers, community and country. Don’t talk behind people’s backs, spread rumors, or engage in harmful gossip. Don’t violate other ethical principles to keep or win a friendship or gain approval. Don’t ask a friend to do something wrong.
Treats all people with respect:

Respect – Be courteous and polite. Judge all people on their merits. Be tolerant, appreciative and accepting of individual differences. Don’t abuse, demean or mistreat anyone. Don’t use, manipulate, exploit or take advantage of others. Respect the right of individuals to make decisions about their own lives.
Acts responsibly:

Accountability – Think before you act. Consider the possible consequences on all people affected by actions. Think for the long-term. Be reliable. Be accountable. Accept responsibility for the consequences of your choices. Don’t make excuses. Don’t blame others for your mistakes or take credit for others’ achievements. Set a good example for those who look up to you.
Pursue excellence – Do your best with what you have. Keep trying. Don’t quit or give up easily. Be diligent and industrious.
Self-control – Exercise self-control. Be disciplined.
Is fair and just:

Fairness – Treat all people fairly. Be open-minded. Listen to others and try to understand what they are saying and feeling. Make decisions which affect others only on appropriate considerations. Don’t take unfair advantage of others’ mistakes. Don’t take more than your fair share.
Is caring:

Caring and kindness – Show you care about others through kindness, caring, sharing and compassion. Live by the Golden Rule. Help others. Don’t be selfish. Don’t be mean, cruel or insensitive to other’s feelings. Be charitable.
Is a good citizen:

Citizenship – Play by the rules. Obey laws. Do your share. Respect authority. Stay informed. Vote. Protect your neighbors and community. Pay your taxes. Be charitable and altruistic. Help your community or school by volunteering service. Protect the environment. Conserve natural resources.
According to experts at CHARACTER COUNTS!, character building is most effective when you regularly see and seize opportunities to …

Strengthen awareness of moral obligations and the moral significance of choices (ethical consciousness).

Enhance the desire to do the right thing (ethical commitment).

Improve the ability to foresee potential consequences, devise options and implement principled choices (ethical competency).

When trying to instill morals and values to your child, experts at CHARACTER COUNTS! say it is important to …

Be consistent – The moral messages you send must be clear, consistent and repetitive. Children will judge your values not by what you say but by what you do and what you permit them to do. They will judge you not by your best moments but by your last worst act. Thus, everything you say and do, and all that you allow to be said and done in your presence, either reinforces or undermines the credibility of your messages about the importance of good character.
Over and over, use the specific language of the core virtues – trustworthiness, respect, responsibility, fairness, caring and citizenship – and be as firm and consistent as you can be about teaching, advocating, modeling and enforcing these “Six Pillars of Character.” When you are tired, rushed or under pressure you are most tempted to rationalize. It may help to remember that the most powerful and lasting lessons about character are taught by making tough choices when the cost of doing the right thing is high.

Be concrete – Messages about good attitudes, character traits and conduct should be explicit, direct and specific. Building character and teaching ethics is not an academic undertaking; it must be relevant to the lives and experiences of your children. Talk about character and choices in situations that your children have been in. Comment on and discuss things their friends and teachers have done in terms of the “Six Pillars of Character.”

Be creative – Effective character development should be creative. It should be active and involve the child in real decision-making that has real consequences (such as teaching responsibility through allocating money from an allowance or taking care of a pet).
Games and role-playing are also effective. Look for “teaching moments,” using good and bad examples from television, movies and the news.

References
The Josephson Institute of Ethics
CHARACTER COUNTS!
Center for the 4th and 5th R’s
“Turn It In” Plagiarism Prevention Program
National Education Association

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Citizen Leadership by Sue Scheff


As American citizens, we find ourselves in a privileged and unique position as members of the most powerful Democratic state in the entire world. But the luxuries we enjoy in this country come with a powerful responsibility—the responsibility of positive citizenship. We must all embrace our unique ability to be good citizens, and we must maintain our civic duty by helping the community around us through positive civic involvement. This site is dedicated to helping show people how they can be a positive part of their community and truly embrace the ideal of a good citizen.


My name is Sue Scheff™, and I’ve been working to help promote proper parenting techniques and information through Parent’s Universal Resource Experts, an organization I created in 2001 that helps compile information and share parenting knowledge among an ever expanding network of concerned families. I want to use this web site to share some of the things I’ve learned through my involvement with parenting advocacy, and extend this knowledge to the idea of promoting good citizenship, because if we are going to become good parents in this troubled world, we must set proper examples for our children, and what better example to set then being a good citizen?Read more.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sue Scheff: ADHD & Iron: Can Nutritional Supplements Improve Symptoms?


How to improve your child's ADHD symptoms by increasing the iron levels in his diet.



You make adjustments to your child’s diet every time a new study touts the health benefits of this food or that nutrient. First, you included more protein with breakfast, then you introduced omega-3 fatty acids.


Now, just as you’re savoring your successes, the latest research suggests that low levels of iron can worsen attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) symptoms in children with the condition.


You know how important iron is to the body, carrying oxygen to the muscles and organs. But it also plays an important role in the brain, affecting production of the key neurotransmitter, dopamine.


What does this mean to your child? Read on. We’ll help you figure out if he’s getting enough of this vital mineral.


Low Iron and ADHD


When you think of a child who is iron deficient, you envision one who is pale and tired — not a hyperactive child, bouncing off walls. Well, think again. A 2004 study, published in the Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine, found that 84 percent of children with ADHD had significantly lower levels of iron, compared with 18 percent of kids without ADHD. The lower the levels of ferritin — a protein found inside cells that store iron — the more severe the symptoms.


A small study, published this year in Pediatric Neurology, showed that symptoms improved when iron-deficient children with ADHD took an iron supplement.


Low iron may also be a factor in Restless Legs Syndrome (RLS), a condition often found in ADHD children that causes an uncomfortable tingling or crawling feeling in the legs, affecting the ability to get to sleep. In 2003, the journal Sleep reported that giving iron supplements to children with both RLS and low iron stores improved symptoms.


If you suspect your child has low levels of iron, talk with your doctor about doing a ferritin test (see “Low-Iron Indicators,” left). Never give your child iron supplements without a blood test and your doctor’s approval. Too much iron can block the absorption of zinc, copper, and manganese. Keep iron supplements out of the reach of small children.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff- High School Transition

At this time of the year, as schools throughout our country are opening, for those teens that are transitioning into High School can be a challenging time. Connect with Kids weekly article on High School Transition offers parents and teens tips on helping make this change go smoothly.

Source: Connect with Kids

“(My sons are) scared and you’re nervous and you want to fit in. And hopefully they’ll come home and talk about it. And I know Kyle was worried about getting beaten up…and that’s the first time he’s mentioned that.”

– Carrie Bickwit, mother

Kyle and grant have spent the summer playing,

But now high school is just a few days away.

“As it gets closer it gets more… it hits me more that it’s that close,” says Kyle, 13.

“I’m a little nervous about all the homework,” admits twin brother Grant, “Everyone’s saying about how it’s going to be twice as much as middle school.”

Kyle worries about fitting in…

“I’m kind of shy,” he says, “And if you’re in with people you don’t really know, you’re afraid you’ll make a mistake and that’ll ruin you.”

Psychologist Nancy McGarrah, Ph.D., says there are plenty of kids who share Kyle and Grant’s concerns. “I hear a lot of headaches and stomach aches this time of year, because they are so anxious about going to school,” she says.

To help a child gear up academically, experts recommend a little extra reading the last several days before school begins.

“We’re actually doing a pre-reading book report and right now it’s taking a while ‘cause it’s summer and my brain’s off,” says Grant.

For a child worried about fitting in…experts suggest find a friend with an older son or daughter who’s been through it all…

“To tell them that this is going to be short lived,” says Dr. McGarrah, “This is going to be somewhat painful but it’s something you adjust to pretty quickly.”

Next, as soon as school starts, join a club, or activity- any small group where you can make friends.

“In a big school it’s even more important, because you really can feel lost in the crowd.”

Finally, whatever their fears or anxieties…

“I think it’s important to reassure them,” says Dr. McGarrah, “To tell them first of all that all kids feel that way. Even the kid that you look at as the most successful, attractive kid is probably feeling that way.”


Tips for Parents

Ninth grade is a time of great change in many students’ lives. They are either the “big men on campus” or else they are on the bottom of the totem pole. As the debate rages on as to whether ninth graders should be in middle or high school, experts have developed advantages and disadvantages to keeping ninth graders in the same school with the sixth, seventh and eight grades.

Advantages:

Ninth graders can have a leadership role that they would not enjoy in a senior high school setting.
The difference in age between age 14 (ninth grade) and age 18 (twelfth grade) is so great that it can be difficult for some ninth graders to adjust.
Some ninth graders are too young and immature to be placed with senior high school students.
The four-year stay in one school facilitates better relationships for students, staff and parents than a shorter stay.
Disadvantages:

Ninth graders are more like tenth, eleventh and twelfth graders because most have gone through puberty.
Separating ninth graders from tenth, eleventh and twelfth graders limits curriculum and extracurricular offerings for them.
The younger children, especially the sixth graders, may want to imitate the ninth graders and grow up too fast.
Ninth graders will experience a variety of new skills and milestones. It is always good for parents to have some idea of what their student is going through, and the following list should help.

Intellectual Skills – Higher expectations coincide with his/her own increasing abilities. He/she will have interests that span farther and wider than ever, in addition to a greater awareness and curiosity about the world around him/her. An example of your teenager’s expanding intellect is his/her newfound skill of deductive reasoning.
Social Skills – Your adolescent is becoming less egocentric in his/her views, and that gives a greater ability to compromise, to stay composed when he/she’s in disagreement with someone and to be generally more tolerant and even-tempered. His/her view of the world will settle first on the friends he/she has around him/her.

Emotional changes – While your ninth-grader is less self-conscious than he/she has been in the past couple of years, he/she is most likely still uncertain about how he/she measures up. Physical appearance matters greatly to him/her, as well as how they’re developing.
Challenges – Your student will encounter many challenges throughout the ninth grade year, and the most common ones are academic failure, eating too much or too little, struggling with abstinence versus teenage sex and adjusting to a bigger school.

References
U.S. Department of Education
Family Education Network
Parent Soup
Partnership for a Drug Free America

Monday, August 18, 2008

Sue Scheff: National AfterSchool Association


School is opening throughout the country soon - did you plan your child's after-school activities?


It is our mission to be the leading voice of the afterschool profession dedicated to the development, education and care of children and youth during their out-of-school hours.
Visit http://www.naaweb.org/ for more information.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Parents - Are you struggling with your young adult?


“My 18 year old is out of control and I am at my wits end! What can I do?” – Anonymous Parent.



18 – 19 year old teens can be the most difficult to address simply because they are considered adults and cannot be forced to get help. As parents, we have limited to no control. Practicing “Tough Love” is easier said than done, many parents cannot let their child reach rock bottom – as parent’s, we see our child suffering – whether it is needing groceries or a roof over their head and it is hard to shut the door on them.



I think this is one of the most important reasons that if you are a parent of a 16-17 year old that is out of control, struggling, defiant, using drugs and alcohol, or other negative behavior – I believe it is time to look for intervention NOW. I am not saying it needs to be a residential treatment center or a program out of the home, but at least start with local resources such as therapists that specialize with adolescents and preferable offer support groups.



It is unfortunate that in most cases the local therapy is very limited how it can help your teen. The one hour once a week or even twice, is usually not enough to make permanent changes. Furthermore getting your defiant teen to attend sessions can sometimes cause more friction and frustrations than is already happening.



This is the time to consider outside help such as a Therapeutic Boarding School or Residential Treatment Center. However these parents with the 18-19 year olds have usually missed their opportunity. They were hoping and praying that at 16 – 17 things would change, but unfortunately, if not addressed, the negative behavior usually escalates.



In the past 8+ years I have heard from thousands of parents – and most are hoping to get their child through High School and will be satisfied with a GED. It is truly a sad society of today’s teens when many believe they can simply drop out of school. Starting as early as 14 years old, many teens are thinking this way and we need to be sure they know the consequences of not getting an education. Education in today’s world should be our children’s priority however with today’s peer pressure and entitlement issues, it seems to have drifted from education to defiance – being happy just having fun and not being responsible.



I think there are many parents that debate whether they should take that desperate measure of sending a child to a program and having them escorted there – but in the long run – you need to look at these parents that have 18-19 year olds that don’t have that opportunity. While you have this option, and it is a major decision that needs to be handled with the utmost reality of what will happen if things don’t change. The closer they are to 18 – the more serious issues can become legally. If a 17+ year old gets in trouble with the law, in many states they will be tried as an adult. This can be scary since most of these kids are good kids making very bad choices and don’t deserve to get caught up the system. As a parent I believe it is our responsible not to be selfish and be open to sending the outside of the home. It is important not to view this as a failure as a parent, but as a responsible parent that is willing to sacrifice your personal feelings to get your child the help they need.



At 18, it is unfortunate, these kids are considered adults - and as parents we basically lose control to get them the help they need. In some cases - if the teen knows they have no other alternatives and this is the only option the parents will support, they will agree to get outside help.


Visit http://www.helpyourteens.com/ for more information

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Talking the Talk


Discussing sex with your tweens and teens can help them make better choices. Here's how.


Temma Ehrenfeld
Newsweek Web Exclusive
Updated: 10:28 AM ET Jul 31, 2008


What kids think about sex might surprise you, but what they're doing sexually—and when they're doing it—might surprise you even more. In a study this year of more than a 1,000 tweens (kids between the ages 11 and 14), commissioned by Liz Claiborne Inc. and loveisrespect.org, nearly half said they'd had a boy- or girlfriend, and one in four said that oral sex or going "all the way" is part of a tween romance.


The parents' view? Only 7 percent of parents surveyed in this study think their own child has gone any further than "making out."


The whole subject of sex is so delicate that some parents put off talking to kids about it, believing their child is still too young, or because they're not sure what to say. They "finally sit down to have the Big Talk," says Dr. Mark Schuster, chief of general pediatrics at Children's Hospital Boston, "and it turns out their teen is already having sex." (The average age of first intercourse in the United States is 16, according to the Centers for Disease Control)The good news is that there's plenty of evidence indicating that kids whose parents do discuss sex with them are more cautious than their peers—more likely to put off sex or use contraception.


They also have fewer partners. Coaching for parents helps, as well. Parents who participated in a training program about how to have those difficult conversations, Schuster reports, were six times more likely than a control group to have discussed condoms with their children. So what did the parents learn? Here are nine "talking sex" tips:


1. Find the moment. Instead of saying "it's time to talk about you-know," let the topic arise naturally—say, during a love scene in a video, or while passing a couple on a park bench. It helps to think about opening lines in advance.


2. Don't be vague about your own feelings. You know you don't want your ninth grader getting pregnant, but is oral sex OK? How do you feel about your daughter going steady or dating several boys casually? Consider the messages you want your kids to hear.


3. Anticipate the roadblocks that a teen or tween might set up. If they tend to say "uh huh," try asking open-ended questions or suggesting a variety of possible ways someone might feel in a relevant situation.


4. Be a good listener. Avoid lecturing and don't interrupt once your child opens up. Restate in your own words what you hear and identify feelings.


5. Help your child consider the pros and cons of sexual choices.


6. Relate sex and physical intimacy to love, caring and respect for themselves and their partner.


7. Teach strategies to manage sexual pressure. It may not be obvious to your daughter that she can suggest going to the movies or a restaurant instead of lounging with her boyfriend on a sofa without adult supervision. Or she may not know she can set and stick to a clear rule (such as no touching below the waist). Discuss the fact that "no means no." A simple strategy like getting up and going to the bathroom can give a girl time to regroup.


8. Don't be afraid to get down to specifics. If your teenage daughter or son is spending every afternoon alone with a main squeeze, and you're simply hoping they're using condoms, go ahead and ask whether they are sexually active and using birth control. You can buy a box of condoms and talk about how to use them—practice on a cucumber. A good laugh won't hurt your relationship.


9. Make the conversation ongoing—not a talk that happens once or twice. For more tips on talking to kids about sex and other sensitive issues, visit Children Now, a nonprofit nonpartisan organization's guide to talking to kids of all ages about sexual subjects. Or The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry's "Facts for Families."

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Helping Teens with Skin Care by Johanna Curtis


Treating Adult and Teenage Acne


Back acne is some of the hardest acne to get rid of for both teens and adults. Many commercial and prescription products cause adverse side effects and are hard on the pocketbook while providing very little relief from acne. The reason back acne is so difficult is the location of the acne. It usually requires someone assist the person with acne in order to reach and treat it effectively. This can be hard for teens and adults as acne has a stigma of embarrassment that causes low self esteem. Instead, many sufferers of back acne simply wear clothing that covers and avoid situation in which their acne would show.
Dermatologist often prescribe back acne Retin-A, but this can create some pretty nasty side effects that aren’t popular with users. Nature has a different solution and one that works in treating adult acne and teen acne alike. The advantage of natural products for acne is the lack of side effects coupled with a strong record of actually clearing acne for good. They even work on acne cysts, which are the painful and infected acne pustules that are hard to the touch. And, the naturalist remedies do it all without drying your skin, irritating it, or causing a worse outbreak before clearing acne up.


Acne’s worst effect is the scarring by acne cysts and the emotional impact that it leaves behind. Often, in both teens and adults, support is needed so that acne doesn’t become a measure of self worth. Depression and isolation are common for acne sufferers whose acne is more severe. Sadly, our social environment encourages this behavior and feeling since we focus so much on physical appearance. However, acne is not and should never be the measure of anything other than a common skin disorder.


Nature provided everything needed to get rid of acne forever. With lots of positive reinforcement and encouragement from loved ones, even the emotional impact of acne can be erased. Together with support and the gifts of nature, acne can become a distant memory.


Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Sue Scheff: Teenage Depression


Depression Causes


There are many causes of teen depression.


The most common causes are:

Significant life events like the death of a family member or close friend, parents divorce or split, breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend, or moving to a new school/area.
Emotional/Physical neglect, being separated from a nurturer, abuse, damage to self esteem.
Many changes happening too quickly can cause depression. For some teens, any major change at one time can trigger symptoms.
Stress, especially in cases where the teen has little or no emotional support from parents, other family members, or friends.
Past traumatic events or experiences like sexual abuse, general abuse, or other major experiences often harbor deep within a child and emerge in the teen years. Most children are unable to process these types of events when they happen, but of course, they remember them. As they age, the events/experiences become clearer and they gain new understanding.
Changes associated with puberty often cause emotions labeled as depression.
Abuse of drugs or other substances can cause changes in the brainÕs chemistry, in many cases, causing some types of depression.
Some medical conditions such as hypothyroidism are believed to affect hormone and mood balance. Physical pain that is chronic can also trigger depression. In many cases, depression caused by medical conditions disappears when medical attention is sought and treatment occurs.
Depression is a genetic disorder, and teens with family members who have suffered from depression have a higher chance of developing it themselves.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Sue Scheff - Teens and Crimes


Too Young to Start


There are almost as many reasons teens steal as there are things for teens to steal. One of the biggest reasons teens steal is peer pressure. Often, teens will steal items as a means of proving’ that they are “cool enough” to hang out with a certain group. This is especially dangerous because if your teen can be convinced to break the law for petty theft, there is a strong possibility he or she can be convinced to try other, more dangerous behaviors, like drinking or drugs. It is because of this that it is imperative you correct this behavior before it escalates to something beyond your control.

Another common reason teens steal is because they want an item their peers have but they cannot afford to purchase. Teens are very peer influenced, and may feel that if they don’t have the ‘it’ sneakers or mp3 player, they’ll be considered less cool than the kids who do. If your teen cannot afford these items, they may be so desperate to fit in that they simply steal the item. They may also steal money from you or a sibling to buy such an item. If you notice your teen has new electronics or accessories that you know you did not buy them, and your teen does not have a job or source of money, you may want to address whereabouts they came up with these items.

Teens may also steal simply for a thrill. Teens who steal for the ‘rush’ or the adrenaline boost are often simply bored and/ or testing the limits of authority. They may not even need or want the item they’re stealing! In cases like these, teens can act alone or as part of a group. Often, friends accompanying teens who shoplift will act as a ‘lookout’ for their friend who is committing the theft. Unfortunately, even if the lookout doesn’t actually steal anything, the can be prosecuted right along with the actual teen committing the crime, so its important that you make sure your teen is not aiding his or her friends who are shoplifting.

Yet another reason teens steal is for attention. If your teen feels neglected at home, or is jealous of the attention a sibling is getting, he or she may steal in the hopes that he or she is caught and the focus of your attention is diverted to them. If you suspect your teen is stealing or acting out to gain your attention, it is important that you address the problem before it garners more than just your attention, and becomes part of their criminal record. Though unconventional, this is your teen’s way of asking for your help- don’t let them down!

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Saturday, June 28, 2008

Sue Scheff: Tips on Raising Your Teens and Pre-Teens

Source: State: Rhode Island Department of Education

Your teen is becoming more independent, but still needs plenty of advice from you. With more money to spend and more opportunities to spend it, your teen can get him or herself and even you into financial trouble, but with your help, your teen can develop the self-confidence and skills he or she needs to successfully manage money in the real world.

Lesson 1: Handling earnings from a job

Teens often have more expenses than younger children, and your child may be coming to you for money more often. This is an opportunity to teach your teen about money. You might want to encourage your teen to get a part-time job. Here are some things you might want to discuss with your teen when he or she begins working:

Limit the hours worked so it won’t interfere with schoolwork and family time.
Agree on what your child's pay should be used for. Now that your teen is working, will he or she need to help out with car insurance or clothing expenses, or do you want your teen to earmark a portion of each paycheck for college?

Talk to your teen about taxes. Show your child how FICA taxes and regular income taxes can take a bite out of his or her take-home pay.

Introduce your teen to the idea of paying yourself first. Encourage your teen to deposit a portion of every paycheck in a savings account before spending any of it.

A teen that is too young to get a job outside the home can make extra cash by babysitting or doing odd jobs for you, neighbors, or relatives.

Lesson 2: Developing a budget

Developing a spending plan or budget that includes items like clothes, recreation, and gas for the car can help your teen learn to manage money. Your goal is to teach your teen how to find a balance between money coming in and money going out. Have your teen start by listing out all sources of regular income (e.g., an allowance or earnings from a part-time job). Next, have your teen list regular expenses (don't include anything you normally pay for). Finally, subtract your teen's expenses from his or her income. If the result shows that your teen won't have enough income to meet his or her expenses, you'll need to help your teen come up with a plan for either spending less or earning more money. Here are some ways you can help your teen learn about budgeting:

Consider giving out a monthly, rather than weekly, allowance. Tell your teen that the money must last for the whole month, and encourage him or her to keep track of what's been spent.
Encourage your teen to think spending decisions through rather than buying items right away. Show your teen how to compare prices or wait for an item to go on sale.

Show your teen how to change a budget by listing expenses as needs (expenses that are unavoidable) and wants (expenses that could be cut if necessary).

Resist the temptation to bail your teen out. If your teen can depend on you to come up with extra cash, he or she will never learn to manage money wisely. But don't be judgmental--your teen will inevitably make some spending mistakes along the way. Your child should know that he or she can always come to you for information, support, and advice.

Lesson 3: Saving for the future

Now that your child is a teen, he or she is ready to focus on saving for larger goals such as a new computer or a car and longer-term goals such as college. Here are some ways you can encourage your teen to save for the future:

Have your teen put savings goals in writing to make them more concrete.
Encourage your child to set goals that are based on his or her values, not on keeping up with what other teens have or want.

Motivate your child by offering to match what he or she saves towards a long-term goal. For instance, for every dollar your child sets aside for college, you might contribute 50 cents or 1 dollar.

Praise your teen for showing responsibility when he or she reaches a financial goal. Teens still look for, and count on, their parent's approval.

Open up a savings account for your child if you haven't already done so.

Lesson 4: Using credit wisely

Show your teen how you use your credit card wisely. Explain how fees will be charged if payments are not made on time and that finance charges will be added if you do not pay the bill in full each month. Go over the credit card bill with your teen to show him or her how they can keep track of where the money is being spent each month.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Military Schools


Does your child have a desire for Military School? Is your child an underachiever or lack motivation? Does your child lack respect for Authority? Does your child make bad choices? Does your child lack self-confidence and self-respect?

Military Schools and Academies offer a student the opportunity to reach their highest academic potential as well as build up their self-esteem to make better choices in today's society. We encourage parents to let their children know that Military Schools are a privilege and honor to attend and not for troubled children. Military Schools are not for punishment; they are a time for growth.

With many students the structure and positive discipline that Military Schools offer are very beneficial. It not only encourages them to become the best they can be, it enhances them to grow into mature respectable young men and women.Many students do not realize they would enjoy Military Schools until they actually visit the campus and understand the honor it is. Military Schools will give your child the vision to reach their goals and dreams for their future. The high level of academics combined with small class sizes creates a strong educational background.

Many ADD/ADHD students do very well in a Military School and Military Academy due to the structure and positive discipline. If your child is ADD or ADHD you may want to consider this type of environment. Many parents start with a summer program to determine if their child is a candidate for Military School.

Military Schools and Academies tuitions vary. Most start at $20,000.00 per school year. There is financing available through lenders and some scholarships. For more first hand information on Military Schools; please contact us directly at 954-349-7260.

Visit www.helpyourteens.com for more information.