Monday, March 17, 2008

Sue Scheff: Teen Mischief


Teens and Vandalism


The US Department of Justice defines vandalism as "willful or malicious destruction, injury, disfigurement, or defacement of any public or private property." Vandalism can encompass many different acts, including graffiti, public unrest, rioting, and other types of criminal mischief, like breaking windows or arson.



Even seemingly harmless pranks like egging and toilet papering homes are considered vandalism in most states. Unfortunately, many acts of vandalism may go unnoticed in the home, because teens can easily avoid bringing any evidence back with them. This is why it is of particular importance that parents make an effort to know where their teens are at all times. Keeping an open dialogue with your teen about his schedule and friends can help you to better keep tabs on him. A teen that knows his parents care is more likely to avoid criminally mischievous behaviors in the first place.




If you suspect your teen is engaging in vandalism, don't be afraid to discuss your fears with your teen. While again, it is important to not be accusatory, you should leave no doubt in your teen's mind that you believe any act of vandalism- big or small- is wrong. Often, teens think vandalism is a 'victimless crime'; in other words, they don't believe they're hurting anyone by spray painting graffiti on a brick building, or tossing a few eggs at a neighbor's car. This kind of thinking is your perfect segue into teaching your teen just how wrong vandalism can be. When your teen defiantly tells you that "nobody got hurt," explain to them that by spray-painting the façade of his high school, they costs the taxpayers (including you) money to have the graffiti covered and the crime investigated.



Remind them that the money for these repairs has to come from somewhere, and that every dollar wasted to fix vandalism is a dollar that must now be cut from somewhere else. Maybe the school will have one less dance, or will be forced to cut out arts programs or programs for under privileged students. If your teen has been egging homes, point out the waste of food that some families cannot even afford. Remind them that someone will have to scrape the dried egg off your neighbor's windshield, possibly making him late for work, costing him time and money.

Find out more about Teen Mischief.

by Sue Scheffand Parents Universal Resource Experts.

http://pureandsuescheff.blogdrive.com/images/teenalcohol.jpg">By Connect with Kids

"If you have your first drink before age 14, you're 4 times more likely to develop alcoholism in your life than if you wait until after age 20."

– Susan Tapert, Ph.D.

By the sixth grade most kids are trading in their dolls and toys for other hobbies like organized sports, clubs at school, and endless hours on the Internet. But, according to new research, around age 11, some kids may be trading their barbies for booze. When do most kids start drinking alcohol? Kim was only 12 when she started.

"I was drinking and then I was smoking, and then I tried so many different drugs," says Kim, 15.

"She was experimenting with drugs and liquor. We had to put all the liquor away in the house, and she was going to friends houses and sampling," says Jim Skinner, Kim's father.

According to a study by the University of Minnesota, one in six children start drinking by the sixth grade. Research shows the earlier kids start the more likely they are to become addicted.

"If you have your first drink before age 14, you're 4 times more likely to develop alcoholism in your life than if you wait until after age 20," says Susan Tapert, Ph.D.

That's why, experts say, the first line of defense against alcohol and drugs is parents who talk to their kids often and start when they're young.

"You know, I can't tell you how many times parents come in and they have never, never approached the word drugs or alcohol with their kids. They just want to ignore it. If they ignore it- it will go away and their kid won't be involved," says Shirley Kaczmarski Ed.D., educational director.

"Let them know the risks of their behaviors, and what the consequences might be and you can help them with handling those situations, and knowing what to do in order to avoid them," says Rhonda Jeffries, M.D., pediatrician.

After months in counseling and a year in a school for troubled teens Kim is now drug and alcohol free.

"I'm very proud of myself," says Kim.

The study also found the earlier kids start drinking, the less receptive they are to alcohol prevention programs.

Tips for Parents

  • Alcohol is a depressant, which means it slows the function of the central nervous system. Alcohol actually blocks some of the messages trying to get to the brain. This alters a person's perceptions, emotions, movement, vision, and hearing. (Nemours Foundation)
  • An effective way for parents to show care and concern is to openly discuss the use and possible abuse of alcohol and other drugs with their teenager.
  • Warning signs of teenage alcohol and drug abuse may include:
    • Physical: Fatigue, repeated health complaints, red and glazed eyes, and a lasting cough.
    • Emotional: personality change, sudden mood changes, irritability, irresponsible behavior, low self-esteem, poor judgment, depression, and a general lack of interest.
    • Family: starting arguments, breaking rules, or withdrawing from the family.
    • School: decreased interest, negative attitude, drop in grades, many absences, truancy, and discipline problems.
    • Social problems: new friends who are less interested in standard home and school activities, problems with the law, and changes to less conventional styles in dress and music.
  • The Consequences of Underage Drinking:
    (National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA)
    • A person who begins drinking as a young teen is four times more likely to develop alcohol dependence than someone who waits until adulthood to use alcohol.
    • During adolescence significant changes occur in the body, including the formation of new networks in the brain. Alcohol use during this time may affect brain development.
    • Motor vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death among youth ages 15 to 20, and the rate of fatal crashes among alcohol-involved drivers between 16 and 20 years old is more than twice the rate for alcohol-involved drivers 21 and older. Alcohol use also is linked with youthful deaths by drowning, suicide, and homicide.
    • Alcohol use is associated with many adolescent risk behaviors, including other drug use and delinquency, weapon carrying and fighting, and perpetrating or being the victim of date rape.
  • Identifying adolescents at greatest risk can help stop problems before they develop. And innovative, comprehensive approaches to prevention, such as Project Northland, are showing success in reducing experimentation with alcohol as well as the problems that accompany alcohol use by young people. (NIAAA)

References

  • American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
  • National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA)
  • Nemours Foundation

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Friday, March 14, 2008

Sue Scheff: Boot Camps for Troubled Teens - Find Positve Alternatives!


Boot Camps for Troubled Teens

Boot Camps for Girls

Boot Camps for Boys

Boot Camps
As a Parent Advocate I receive many phone calls and email from parents looking for Boot Camps to place their teenagers in.

We (Parents’ Universal Resource Experts) never promote, refer or recommend anyone to Boot Camps.

We believe in building our teens back up, not breaking them down. Many teens are suffering with low self esteem, which can lead to negative behavior. When you take a negative child and place them into a potentially punitive environment, such as a Boot Camp, you can risk your child returning with more anger and resentment. This anger is usually targeted at the person that placed them there – the parent.

We believe in finding healthy, positive, nurturing and safe environments to promote your teen’s self confidence, to make better choices and determine where the negative behavior is stemming from. With this emotional growth, your teen and your family can start healing towards a happy and healthy home life.

As a parent it is our responsibility to find a school or program that will instill positive values and help your teen through the difficult times they were having at home and/or school. It is time to bring your family back together.

Contact us for more information and start getting your teenager the positive help they may need.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff): Abuse of Over the Counter and Prescription Drugs





Many parents have had “the drug talk” with their children … warning them about illegal drugs such as marijuana and cocaine. But did you know that kids today are getting high using over-the-counter (OTC) drugs such as cold tablets and cough syrup?


They are also using prescription pain pills – stealing them from their parents or buying them online – as well as taking other kids’ ADD medicines or selling their own. Just because these drugs are legal, they can still be highly addictive, physically harmful and even deadly. Many kids don’t know that. Parents have to teach them. Generation Rx will show you what you need to know.


Could your child be abusing OTC drugs or prescription pills? Would you know what to look for? Could you tell the warning signs if your child was high on these drugs? In Generation Rx you’ll hear true stories from real kids who thought it was safer to use drugs from drugstores or pills that doctors prescribe ... and didn’t realize they could get hooked or hurt.


Generation Rx will help families learn the facts about OTC and Rx drugs – and why they can be just as lethal as illegal drugs. Parents will learn the types of situations kids get themselves into with drugs like these. You’ll hear from other parents who had no idea … until their children were already involved with drugs. And most importantly, you will learn the steps to take to help keep your child off legal drugs.


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Thursday, March 6, 2008

Sue Scheff: Summer Camps and Summer Programs


It is the time of year that many summer programs are actually filling up!


Finding a good summer programs, such as Leadership Programs, can help your child build their self esteem to make better choices as well as motivate them to reach their highest potential.


If your child is starting to struggling in school, whether it is peer pressure or other issues, you may want to consider summer alternatives.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts: Early Dating/Early Sexual Activity by Connect with Kids


First Comes Love


Will you be ready when your son has his first girlfriend? When your daughter has her first boyfriend? Will you be able to help them with the peer pressure to have sex? Will you be ready to address the warning signs of dating violence?


These are difficult topics for parents and kids to talk about together... First Comes Love helps you start the conversation. The program features real kids sharing their true dating stories – and suddenly the pressure is off of your children as you talk about the kids in the program. That, says experts, opens the door for communication and learning. The program also features advice from health experts and child specialists about the best way to protect children from the “dark side of teenage love.”
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Connect with Kids is a wealth of information for parents. I refer parents to them daily and I am always impressed with their valuable new weekly parenting articles and DVD’s. In today’s world of teenagers - parents need to be a step ahead!


Thursday, February 28, 2008

Sue Scheff: Supervising Parties for Teenagers - by Connect with Kids


“As we walked out to the street to see what all the commotion was about, the van had 30-foot flames shooting out of it. Someone had screamed that there was a girl inside who they had pulled out of the van.”

– Bill Strickland, father

With spring break and prom just around the corner, parents have good reason to be extra vigilant about underage drinking -- and not just to protect their own kids. With more states enacting parental liabilities laws than ever before, parents also have to protect themselves.

Brad Brake and Bill Strickland are neighbors, and their daughters wanted to have a party.

“They basically asked if I would provide alcohol and I wouldn’t, and Bill wouldn’t,” says Brad, father. “And I basically let it be …you’d almost call it turning a blind eye.”

The dads’ policy: don’t ask; don’t tell. But more than 200 kids showed up at the party -- many with their own alcohol.

“This is a news clipping from the day after our party. And it says ‘West Side erupts in bizarre night of violence’ and I highlighted the ‘huge party’. Because that’s all that mattered to us,” laughs Shelby, 17.

Parties like this are one reason that 23 states have now passed “social host” laws.

“If you’re a homeowner, you have the positive responsibility to ensure that these out-of-control parties do not happen in your home. And if that happens, if it occurs and the police have to come, the firemen have to come, the ambulances have to come and someone gets hurt, you’re held responsible for the cost to the community,” says Jim Mosher, J.D., Pacific Institute for Research and Evaluation.

The police did come to the girls’ party that night. It seems that two boys got into an argument and one went outside and threw gasoline into the other boy’s van.

“And as we walked out to the street to see what all the commotion was about, the van had 30-foot flames shooting out of it. Someone had screamed that there was a girl inside who they had pulled out of the van,” says Bill.

The girl from the van was passed out – drunk -- but the officers pulled her out just before the van filled with fire. For Bill and Brad, there were no arrests, no lawsuits, no fines. But many parents say it’s still a struggle to know the right thing to do.

“I can’t forbid my children from drinking. That’s the best way in the world to have them shut off from me, to not tell me the truth. And truth in my house is king,” says Bill.

Others say the solution is simple:

“We need to stop this, this is not okay. And it is particularly not okay that it’s happening with the concurrence and the support of parents,” says Mosher.

Tips for Parents


Parents need to know that hosting parties where alcohol is being served to minors is not only illegal, but also extremely dangerous for their kids, for others and for themselves, given the legal liabilities they face. (National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, NHTSA)


While all states and the District of Columbia have 21-year-old minimum drinking age laws, more than 20 percent of young people below the legal drinking age reported driving under the influence of alcohol, drugs or both in the past year, according to the National Survey on Drug Use and Health. (NHTSA)


A recent survey commissioned by The Century Council, a national non-profit organization dedicated to fighting drunk driving and underage drinking, revealed that 65 percent of underage youth say they get alcohol from family and friends (interpreted as meaning they get it from their parents, their friends’ parents, older siblings or friends, with or without their permission).
Most troubling, some parents have become willing accomplices in planning teen parties and turning a blind eye to alcohol use in their own homes. (NHTSA)


Laws vary from state to state, but in many states, parents who break these laws could be forced to pay all medical bills and property damages in the case of a crash, and could also be sued for emotional pain and suffering when there is severe injury or death. (NHTSA)


Parents should help plan their teenagers’ parties to ensure they are alcohol-free: (NHTSA)


Help make the guest list and limit the number to be invited. Send personal invitations to avoid the dangers of “open parties.”


Put your phone number on the invitation and encourage calls from other parents to check on the event. Think about inviting some of the other parents to help during the party and to help you supervise to ensure no alcohol or drugs are present, and to help ask uninvited attendees to leave.


At the party, limit access to a specified area of your property. Make sure there is plenty of food and soft drinks available. Make regular, unannounced visits to the party area throughout the evening.


Most importantly, tell parents to talk honestly with their kids to make sure their kids know they are concerned for their safety. (NHTSA)


References


National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA)
The Century Council

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Sue Scheff: Coping with High School Bullies by Connect with Kids


A Violent Age


Have your children ever been the victims of high school bullies? In spite of anti-violence messages and bullying videos, do you suspect your own kids may have hurt or threatened someone else? In either case, they wouldn’t be alone.


Youth violence is on the rise, touching nearly every teenager in America:


80 percent of teens say they have faced high school bullies
One in three has been in a physical fight during the last year
Among teens, murder is the second-leading cause of death
Bullying Videos Can Help Stop the Violence


Experts say talking with your kids and helping them understand their feelings of anger, hurt or fear goes a long way to helping both the victims and the perpetrators of teen violence. Watching bullying videos like A Violent Age together will get that conversation started and help you both know what to say and how to listen.


Your kids will relate to the teens in this program who talk about how high school bullies affected their lives. You’ll also hear from the Hessler family, whose daughter hung out with a rough crowd and was killed during a robbery.


Bullying videos alone won’t solve the problem, but A Violent Age is a great way to take the first step. Order your copy today and get advice from experts on how to keep kids safe from high school bullies and how to get help for children who struggle from the anger, pain, fear and humiliation that goes with teen violence.


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Connect with Kids is a wealth of information for parents. I refer parents to them daily and I am always impressed with their valuable new weekly parenting articles and DVD’s. In today’s world of teenagers - parents need to be a step ahead!