Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Sue Scheff: Teenage Drinking and Driving


Shattered


It’s hard to get teens to really listen when adults talk to them about the dangers of drinking and driving. Your kids will listen to Shattered. The program features true stories from real teens whose lives were drastically changed as a result of drunk driving. Watch and learn together, and suddenly the pressure is off your own children as they relate to the kids onscreen. You won't be talking at your children... you'll be talking with them.


“I didn't think I’d ever be one of these people, you know, that drinks and drives and hurts people, but I am.” – Jayme Webb, her story, in Shattered


Shattered is a no-sugar-coated, heart-wrenching program, with facts and tips from experts to help parents and teens avoid the risks of drinking and driving.


“As teenagers, we always think we are invincible and nothing bad is ever going to happen to us,” says Whitney, 16. But bad things do happen. Nearly 3,000 teenagers die each year due to alcohol-related car accidents. It is the leading cause of death among 15- to 20-year-olds.


Comes with a free Family Viewing Guide with myth-busters about alcohol’s effects, sobering up, peer pressure, and resources to help you create a driving contract you’re your teens.
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Monday, February 18, 2008

Sue Scheff: Teenagers Cutting Themselves by Connect with Kids


The Enemy Inside


It's hard to understand teenagers cutting themselves, but kids do deliberately burn, scratch and cut themselves until they bleed. Even the kids involved with teenage cutting can’t tell you why it makes them feel better... at least for the moment. They can tell you that it’s addictive and scary.


“Cutting” is the most popular form of self-injury today, and it is on the rise among adolescents. Teenagers cutting themselves is a sign of emotional pain but it can also lead to major physical injury... and even death in some cases. The addictive nature of this condition allows it to spin quickly out of control.


How can you help prevent teenage cutting?


The first step is communication, but talking about teenage cutting isn’t easy.


The Enemy Inside can help. Compelling true stories from kids who struggle with self-injury will help explain why kids do it, why they want to stop – and so often why they can’t. You’ll also hear expert advice for parents, teachers and counselors, on how to help prevent this kind of self-harm cutting and how to suggest healthier alternatives.


Order your copy of The Enemy Inside to learn what you need to know about teenagers cutting themselves and to see why Connect with Kids programs have been shown to improve youth behavior and increase communication between parents and children.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Colleges, Potential Employers, Potential Clients and Networking Sites


We keep hearing about more and more people searching online for background information on potential new employees, college applicants, or if someone is considering using your business for a service or trade.


Parents need to take the time now with their kids to show them what they create on their MySpace profiles, Facebook, Friendster and other Social Networking sites could potentially effect their future.


We, as parents, need to make them aware of what they put on there today - could effect them tomorrow. Of course, kids don’t quite understand that the future comes faster than they can imagine. After-all, in most cases college is years away! (In reality they are only 2-8 years away - which isn’t that far off, but feels like an eternity to a child).


Take the time to offer examples and show how what they may deem as funny today, could potentially cause embarrassment later. Remember, what is posted on the net today - has the potential of staying there forever!


Teaching your kids to make smart online decisions is now part of parenting our kids today. One service I always recommend parents consider, that is very cost effective, is Reputation Defender MyChild. This service helps monitor your child’s activity that is relevant to their name and privacy.


Another article I found to help parents and offer tips is Colleges and Networking Sites by Connect with Kids. Take a moment to check out the Tips for Parents.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

The Secret Life of Kids: What Your Kids Are Doing Shouldn’t Be a Mystery


Who’s pressuring your kids? Who’s offering them alcohol or drugs? Who’s talking to them on the Internet? Whether we’re teachers, parents, counselors…sometimes we just don’t know what’s really going on in a child’s life. If you want to talk to your kids about the challenges they face, but aren’t sure what to say, our programs will help…with real kids sharing their true stories, and advice from experts, educators and parents who have “been there.”




Click here for a fantastic educational resource to help you help your kids!

Friday, January 25, 2008

Parents Learn About Online Safety


By: TAMMIE SLOUP - http://www.mywebtimes.com/

Parents, get with the times.

That was Sarah Migas' opening message during a presentation about online safety Thursday night at Ottawa Township High School.

Social networking sites such as MySpace and Facebook and Internet chat rooms and instant messaging are becoming increasingly popular means for children and teenagers to socialize. While they have their positives, digital technology also can be dangerous.

"Kids are seeing the Internet as the wild wild West," said Migas, an Internet safety specialist with the Illinois Attorney General's Office.

Migas and Daniel Spillman, assistant attorney general with the high tech crimes bureau, talked to a handful of audience members, introducing what they referred to as a "travel guide" for parents to navigate their way through some of these social networking sites and learn the languages being used by children to communicate.

Migas said acronyms often are used amongst bloggers and instant messengers and are not always familiar to parents, who should be monitoring their children's online activities.

"It's like going to another country; you've got to learn the places and the language so you can keep up with the kids because predators know where the kids are," Migas said.

She pointed to examples such as A/S/L, which means age, sex, location. Predators can easily find a person with just that bit of information. Also, she cautioned parents about the acronym POS, which means parents over shoulder.

Internet chat rooms, sites people can access to discuss various topics in real time, also present possible dangerous encounters with predators.

Oftentimes, children will stumble upon sites because they're curious about the titles, and find themselves looking at sexually explicit photos, or conversations, without meaning to.

"And if your child actually talks to you about it, they should be praised. Often they are scared to talk because they're scared their computer privileges will be revoked," Migas said.

Spillman stressed he and Migas aren't trying to give out parenting advice, but threatening to yank the child's computer time away often hampers the child's willingness to open up about their Internet activities.

Online predators often will use what is referred to as "grooming" techniques to establish a relationship with a child, often times offering compliments about the child's looks or sympathizing with their problems.

Predators also are taking advantage of Web cams, soliciting children to take off their clothes by blackmailing them with personal information the predator threatens to share with the child's school or parents.

"These guys know how to get a hook in them and reel them in," Spillman said.

According to statistics, one in seven children will be approached online for sexual content. In the majority of cases, the predators are men.

While law enforcement does have the power to criminally charge predators, and authorities constantly monitor possibly dangerous encounters, Migas and Spillman said that's not enough eyes to protect children.

"We rely on parents," Migas said.

Keep the computer in an open area. Ask children about their Internet activities and monitor their social networking sites. Parents also can check recent activities on the computer by accessing the Internet history account in the control panel of the computer.

Blogs also have grown in popularity.

"Basically a blog is an online journal," Migas said, warning, "If you wouldn't want your grandma to see the pictures or read the content, don't post it."

Digital technology also has spurred what is deemed, "cyberbullying."

Instead of bullies preying on their victims in the halls of school or at the park, the tormenting is taking place online -- where the threats and harassment can be seen by anyone around the world.

"It's easy because they feel anonymous, and they don't see the reactions of the victims," Migas said.

Children can no longer take refuge in their homes from bullies.

"It can happen anywhere, anytime," Migas said.

According to statistics provided, more than 40 percent of children are bullied online at some point.

When a child feels threatened or harassed online, Migas and Spillman said the incident should be reported to parents and-or police. Also, any evidence should be printed and saved, and children should not retort in any way, as it can worsen the situation.

While many of the social networking sites do have safety measures, predators often find a way around them. Law enforcement also continues to monitor the Internet, but Internet dangers will be an ongoing issue in which authorities need the help of parents to fight.

"Unfortunately, I don't think this bureau will go under," Migas said of the attorney general's high tech crimes bureau.


Internet acronyms parents should know:

AITR: Adult In The Room

P911: Parent Emergency

PAW: Parents Are Watching

PIR: Parent In Room

POS: Parent Over Shoulder

MOS: Mom Over Shoulder

MIRL: Meet In Real Life

S2R: Send To Receive (pictures)

CD9: Code 9 (parents are around)

E or X: Ecstasy (the drug)

ASL(R P): Age Sex Location (Race / Picture)

TDTM: Talk Dirty To Me
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Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Sue Scheff: Dealing with your 18 year old Child


“My 18 year old is out of control and I am at my wits end! What can I do?” – Anonymous Parent.

18 – 19 year old teens can be the most difficult to address simply because they are considered adults and cannot be forced to get help. As parents, we have limited to no control. Practicing “Tough Love” is easier said than done, many parents cannot let their child reach rock bottom – as parent’s, we see our child suffering – whether it is needing groceries or a roof over their head and it is hard to shut the door on them.

I think this is one of the most important reasons that if you are a parent of a 16-17 year old that is out of control, struggling, defiant, using drugs and alcohol, or other negative behavior – I believe it is time to look for intervention NOW. I am not saying it needs to be a residential treatment center or a program out of the home, but at least start with local resources such as therapists that specialize with adolescents and preferable offer support groups.

It is unfortunate that in most cases the local therapy is very limited how it can help your teen. The one hour once a week or even twice, is usually not enough to make permanent changes. Furthermore getting your defiant teen to attend sessions can sometimes cause more friction and frustrations than is already happening.

This is the time to consider outside help such as a Therapeutic Boarding School or Residential Treatment Center. However these parents with the 18-19 year olds have usually missed their opportunity. They were hoping and praying that at 16 – 17 things would change, but unfortunately, if not address, the negative behavior usually escalates.

In the past 7+ years I have heard from thousands of parents – and most are hoping to get their child through High School and will be satisfied with a GED. It is truly a sad society of today’s teens when many believe they can simply drop out of school. Starting as early as 14 years old, many teens are thinking this way and we need to be sure they know the consequences of not getting an education. Education in today’s world should be our children’s priority however with today’s peer pressure and entitlement issues, it seems to have drifted from education to defiance – being happy just having fun and not being responsible.

I think there are many parents that debate whether they should take that desperate measure of sending a child to a program and having them escorted there – but in the long run – you need to look at these parents that have 18-19 year olds that don’t have that opportunity. While you have this option, and it is a major decision that needs to be handled with the utmost reality of what will happen if things don’t change. The closer they are to 18 – the more serious issues can become legally. If a 17+ year old gets in trouble with the law, in many states they will be tried as an adult. This can be scary since most of these kids are good kids making very bad choices and don’t deserve to get caught up the system. As a parent I believe it is our responsible not to be selfish and be open to sending the outside of the home. It is important not to view this as a failure as a parent, but as a responsible parent that is willing to sacrifice your personal feelings to get your child the help they need.

At 18, it is unfortunate, these kids are considered adults - and as parents we basically lose control to get them the help they need. In most cases, which may be with your niece - if they know they have no other alternatives and this is the only option the parents will support, they will attend.