Thursday, January 29, 2009

Sue Scheff - Teen Obesity, Bullying, Friendship and Grumble Bluff


I just read the most lovely and educational book called Grumble Bluff by Karen Bessey Pease. This tale tells of two young girls in that difficult and awkward stage of tweens - one is overweight and one has a horrific and painful situation she is living with. Both are bullied and teased relentlessly. Even reading how some kids are so mean made me feel so sad and angry on the inside.


If you are a parent of a teen or tween - buy this book today - read it and have your child read it. You will feel warm inside at the end and then anxious for the second book. Kathy and Greta (characters) will become part of your family too - and what a great way to open lines of communication between you and your kids.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Sue Scheff - Parenting Blogs


O-kay, I am in Florida and have a soft spot for oranges and tangerines, but when I discovered a new Parenting Website that promotes today’s teen issues and parents concerns, I had to share it with you. Tangerine Times, created by Myrna Lantzsch, offers a variety of Parenting Tips, Articles, Blogs and more. Her motto: The Sweet and Sour Life with Teens.


Recently Myrna wrote about Teens and Texting while Driving - and this is huge concern for many of us. We are hearing more and more how car accidents due to cell phone use are increasing, and we need to educate our teens of the dangers of using their phones while driving.


In an effort to provide additional information and updates on the subject of “Texting While Driving” post - I discovered this story on Salon.com.


In the article, they discuss other technologies to aide with the “disabling” of a cell phone for texting purposes. Both of the companies discussed, (WQN, Inc. and Aegis Mobility) both utilize the car’s Global Positioning System to disable the cell phone.


I still think the best approach is to turn off texting at certain times (especially when the teenager is just beginning to drive) and/or have them leave the phone at home. I know this is unheard of anymore, no one thinks they can do without a cell phone around. But, I’m beginning to think that the temptation to text or use the phone can be very tempting. And, it is even more of a distraction than loud music or maybe, even, another teen in the car.


I’m still researching this subject and will continue to supply updates. As usual, I am particularly interested in hearing from you readers…what do you think? What have you tried?

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Sue Scheff - Inauguation Day 2009 - Parenting Teens and Politics


What an exciting week we have ahead of us! It is amazing how today’s youths are getting involved in politics and taking the initiative to learn all they can. This is not only a historical time for our country, there is a feeling of unity among all people of all ages. This can also a great time to spend with your kids and explain the importance of this upcoming week. How do you feel? Do your kids truly understand the history of this moment? This is a perfect opportunity to have family time and excitement as well as creating lasting memories.

Below is an article Connect with Kids posted back in June outlining how teens really took part in this past election. Again, an exciting time in history!

Source: Connect with Kids

“When parents talk about politics with their kids, when they participate themselves — this leads to a higher level of interest in politics among their children,”

– Dr. Alan Abramowitz, Political Science Professor, Emory University

Nineteen-year-old Will Kelly is pounding the pavement, knocking on doors and talking to voters.

Seventeen-year-old Amelia Hartley is answering phones, making copies and filing news clips.

She is a die-hard Democrat, and he is a faithful Republican. Both teenagers have a passion for politics and for getting involved.

“To be honest,” Will says of his volunteer work, “because I care about what’s going on and it troubles me to see how so many people become apathetic with what they do have in this country – that we take so much for granted.”

“At 17, I can’t vote yet, I don’t pay taxes, but within a year I’m going to have to know enough about leaders – not only national, but local and state – to be able to say who I want running things,” says Amelia of her involvement.

According to the Center for Information and Research on Civic Learning and Engagement, young voters are turning up in record numbers this presidential election.

One reason, experts say, their parents.

“There has been quite a bit of research that shows that when parents talk about politics with their kids, when they participate themselves, when they take their kids to vote with them, that all this leads to a higher level of interest in politics among the children,” says Dr. Alan Abramowitz, a political science professor at Emory University.

It is a level of interest, Dr. Abramowitz adds, that persists over time. “Even many years later, those who were raised in families that were politically active and where the parents talked about politics remain more active themselves.”

Amelia and Will say they’ve been invigorated by the hard work of politics. And, in fact, it’s sparked an interest.

“Is there a future in politics for me?” Will ponders. “Well that’s a question I seem to ask myself a lot. We’ll have to see.”

“There are a lot of career paths I’m considering,” says Amelia, “and politics is definitely one of them.”


Tips for Parents
The polls are showing teens are lining up in record numbers to have their say in this year’s election. Consider these statistics from a recent poll by Time Magazine, among 18-29 year olds:

70% said they are paying attention to the race
53% said Barack Obama was the candidate best described as ‘inspirational’
83% said this election will have a great impact on the country
A majority (54%) say the US was wrong to go to war in Iraq
80% of young people rate the economic conditions in this country as only fair or poor
Nearly three-quarters of the respondents said they feel the country is headed down the wrong track
Affordable health care (62%), the Iraq War (59%), and being able to find a stable, good paying job (58%) are the top issues a majority of young people worry about the most.
More than 6.5 million young people under the age of 30 participated in the 2008 primaries and caucuses. In fact, Obama’s margin of victory in Iowa came almost entirely from voters under 25 years old. In New Hampshire, his edge among young voters was 3 to 1; in Nevada, it was 2 to 1; and in Michigan, nearly 50,000 under-30s voted “Uncommitted” because Clinton’s name was the only one on the ballot.

The Center for Information and Research on Civic Learning and Engagement, getting kids involved in a civics or government class is a great way to get them more interested in the elections. From the 2006 Civic and Political Health of the Nation Report, young people who report that they recently choose to take a civics or government class are more likely than other young people to say that:

they helped solve a community problem,
they can make a difference in their community,
they have volunteered recently,
they trust other people and the government,
they have made consumer decisions for ethical or political reasons,
they believe in the importance of voting, and
they are registered to vote.
Parents are also one of the greatest influences on young voters.

Start with the basics. Make sure your 18-year-old knows when and where to vote.
Getting your 18-year-old to the polls could pay big dividends. People who have been motivated to vote once are more likely to become repeat voters.
Acquire and fill out voter registration forms with your teen. If your teen meets age requirements, you should each fill out a voter registration form.
If your teen meets age requirements on Election Day, go to your polling place together to cast your ballots.
If your teen doesn’t meet age requirements for the 2008 election, but will turn 18 before the 2012 election, involve them in the current election as preparation for the next election.
Consider taking teens between 14 and 17 to the polling place with you. Even if they are not permitted inside for security reasons, the visit will demystify the voting process.
Remind your child that the November election is the result of many local primaries and that Americans are able to vote for their national, state and local leaders.
Kids who are not old enough to vote can still have an impact on elections. Encourage kids to get involved in the political process. They can go door-to-door in support of candidates or help with fundraising efforts.
It can seem daunting to research candidates, because information on the different races is not centralized in one place. Parents can share news articles with their kids. The key is to engage students with issues they will find relevant to their lives.

References
Time Magazine
The Center for Information and Research on Civic Learning and Engagement

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Sue Scheff: Financing Residential Therapy and Boarding Schools

With today’s economic situation, it is becoming more difficult for parents to secure finances to assist with the high fees of residential therapy. Here is a list of some possible avenues. Many banks have raised their standards for qualifications (requiring a higher FICO score) among other requests. Some banks have literally stopped participating in Educational Loans.

Financial Options

Have you recently discovered the high costs of Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Therapeutic Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, Wilderness Programs and other avenues of academic and emotional growth assistance?

For the average middle class family the fees can be staggering. Even people of means can have sticker price shock at the tuition of these programs. Due to the extensive costs of operating these specialty schools with the appropriate licenses, credentialed staff as well as certified educational accreditations, it is extremely expensive.

The average cost of private Therapeutic Boarding Schools and Programs is about $4000.00 per month, usually all inclusive. There is usually a processing fee that is separate from the tuition that can range from $1500.00 - $2500.00. This fee usually includes insurances, administrative costs, and other various costs such as uniforms, haircuts, toilettes, field trips etc. Other programs will have an additional fee for uniforms. When choosing a program, be sure to ask specifically what is included and what extra fees can be expected. If a private program is less than $3000.00 per month, please be sure to do your research.

Many programs offer a discount if your full tuition is paid up front. This is an individual decision, depending on your financial circumstances as well as your family’s needs.

Educational Loans:

Financing these programs can be available to you in a variety of ways. The Educational Loan is one that is typically used by many families. There is usually no application fee and allows the family to have a reasonable monthly fee within their financial means. It is very similar to a college loan. Key Bank, Sallie Mae, Chase Bank, Clark Custom Loans and PrepGate are the most common used lenders for Educational Loans.

College Fund Option:

If a child has a college fund, it may be a good time to use it. Although we expect our children to go to college, when the time comes and he/she is ready for that step, and you have exhausted your college fund, there are always grants and scholarships to a wide variety of colleges that you could apply for. Getting your teen the help he needs to ensure he makes it to college is what you are concerned with at this time.

Individual Educational Plan (IEP):

Does your child have an Individual Educational Plan (IEP) through your local school district? In some cases this may defer some of your tuition costs in respect to the academic component of a Boarding School or Program. If you have an IEP in place for your child, it is important to ask the school or program you are considering if they work with IEP’s and discuss the reimbursement process. For more information on IEP’s click here http://www.ed.gov/parents/needs/speced/iepguide/index.html

Credit Line/Home Equity:

Another popular alternative to financing a program is a Home Equity Credit Line. This can be beneficial to you in a few ways. Not only is a convenient way to access money that is needed, it can also be a tax deduction in regards to the interest payments. Please keep in mind, in some cases the program you are sending your child to can also be a tax deduction in regards to medical expenses. Usually the therapeutic and medical portion of the tuition can be deducted. Check with your Tax Preparer or Accountant for more information.

Credit Cards:

Credit Cards, although they usually have a high interest rate, may be able to provide you with the initial monies to enroll your child until you are able to access an Educational Loan, Credit Line, or other means of payment. Many parents will use a Credit Card that accumulates Airline Miles or other beneficial services, and then pay the credit card off within the 28-30 days with their credit line or other financial means. This prevents you from being charged the finance charges. It can be a way to earn airline travel that can help when it comes time to visit your child if they are out of state.

Medical Insurance:

Contact your Medical Insurance Provider to see if they cover residential placement. Some will cover the first 30 days or possibly the therapeutic portion of your child’s stay which is usually one third of the tuition. PPO’s are typically more likely to cover some costs, however it never hurts to check with your insurance company. In searching for programs, you may want to ask the program if they accept your insurance or have experience with how much you could expect from your specific insurance company.

Family, Church, or Employer:

Many families will borrow from relatives or in some cases; employers have been known to contribute to the family. In some cases this could also be a tax deduction for a relative or employer. Some churches will have specific funds to help families within their parish. If you are a member of a church or other faith based organization, it can’t hurt to ask.

Scholarships:

Don’t be afraid to ask the program if they have scholarships, some do have limited financial aid, so it is important to ask.

My Blog on Financing keeps up with new lenders as they become available. Always remember your local United Way and see what resources they have available.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Sue Scheff - Parenting the Defiant Child




ADHD behavior issues often partner with oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) -- making discipline a challenge. Try these strategies for parents of ADD kids.


Every parent of a child with attention deficit disorder knows what it's like to deal with ADHD behavior problems -- sometimes a child lashes out or refuses to comply with even the most benign request. But about half of all parents who have children with live with severe behavior problems and discipline challenges on an almost daily basis.